May 2012
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“We may be highly evolved but I still just chased a fly down with a sandal whilst...”
– Brandon
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I just learned today that 50 Shades of Gray is...
Like, not jokingly.
It was posted as fan fiction, taken down because of the offensive sexual content, then published with all the names changed and separated into three books.
This is literally what happened.
It’s like, terrible literature inception.
Mind. Blown.
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I love how sometimes this random re-blog notice...
And it’s the Kitten Mittens picture I posted many millenia ago.
And it makes me smile all over again.
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Currently, on the Jeremy England scale of...
Only I haven’t gotten laid, so perhaps I can’t use said scale.
Le sigh. Someone find me a guy worth sleeping with.
How can I be such a feminist and hate this women's...
I find my textbook to be horrifically biased.
I also find it to be horrifically boring.
This is a topic I deeply care about.
WHY DOES IT SUCK SO MUCH???
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Boys...
Are the worst?
I told chef boy I wouldn’t teach him to cake decorate (ugh, note of advice: don’t ask a girl on a ‘date’ that is the same as her work).
I didn’t text firefighter boy back when he said he hoped we’d hang again soon.
There’s a bartender who def likes me so I’m gonna have to start ignoring him cus he texts too much. Keeler still texts...
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Mickey Avalon
Jess: Do you think if we googled Mickey Avalon Dick Pic we'd be successful?
Me: ....
Jess: Did you already try it?
Me: (giggling uncontrollably)
*5 Mins later*
Me: Okay so this googling Mickey Avalon's Dick..
Jess: ....
Me: I think it's worth a shot.
“The clitoris is pure in purpose. It is the only organ in the body designed...”
– Natalie Angier, Woman: An Intimate Geography (via grrrlstudies)
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Uhh..
“If you want to hit on a woman properly, when you smile and say hi, make sure you’re looking at her FACE. Hold the door open for her, and call her ma’am once in a while. Seriously, respect goes so much further than you know. Ladies be respectful too.”
My friend’s facebook update.
Um if a guy calls me ma’am, I’m gonna be turned off literally forever.
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Well my internship is pretty bomb.
My schedule though, awful.
I took tuesday and thursday afternoons off after this week…I will not have an actual full day off for the rest of the summer. I will because eventually I’ll request one out of desperation, but that’ll be it.
I’m already tired. And I wanna get drunk. And I want a boy to gratuitously adore on me. Ugh.
Pulling my nephews bath toys out of the tub...
Ugh, my ovaries hurt. I want a little baby that I play with adorable little toys in a tub with someday.
Someday- operative word. I’m still fully pregnancy-phobic.
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dom4sub →
50shadesofsuck:
looks like things with anastasia didn’t work out and christian’s taken to craig’s list.
thanks audrey.
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Rewatching seasons one and two of vamp diaries...
Honestly, the most unrealistic thing is the fact that they use Bing for shit.
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Soo hard to get myself to go running at 5:41am
I’m gonna do it. I think. I am. I hope. Yep, this is me leaving.
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I am a sad kitten
Maybe it is because it’s rainy this morning.
I need to figure out a life plan!
How does one figure out a life plan?
I want a new cuddle buddy, but my town is devoid of cuddle-buddy-worthy people. All I can say is I’m glad I have Yes.
Also, I still manage to have all the white girl problems in the world and Rob think’s I’m an idiot for loving astrology. SMH haaaaaa.
...
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Astrology, Karen's only vice
Karen: I didn't read my horoscope today and I'm really sad. Don't judge me, Bobby, I can hear your thoughts. It's my one vice.
Me: Oh yes. Your one, singular, only vice.