June 2011
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K: Well, I think he might be done making it by the time we get there to help.
J: Good, then we just get cake.
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I just ate a Twix bar and it was effing amazing.
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openlikeflowers asked: So, I found your blog thingy by reading your story about the tornado escape plan and your dream. Funniest thing ever! I hope you dont think im strange by talking to you. Its just so something I would do. :)
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My relationship with Karen is probably the reason...
Me: Aahhhh! I just want to be near you!
Karen: Rawr I miss you so much but I am soo god damn sleepy ik falling asleep, and I have to get up early for examness tomorrow I think I'm going to go to bed :(
Me: That's totally fine darling, I love you and completely understand
Karen: Gosh you are sweet I loooovvveee youuuuu
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toohilarious asked: I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TELL YOU! I started reading the Count of Monte Cristo, currently 150 pages in and love it. It makes me think and I like the old timey feel to it. Plus, it's a great subway read.
J: bitch has logic
B: umm....woman logic
J: you know b, someday someone is going to punch you in the penis.
B: yeah but it will be a woman so it wont hurt.
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I just caught 73 consecutive pieces of popcorn...
12 and 64 were close ones, but I’m still pretty sure that’s some sort of record. I was going for 100, but I’m too full now.
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bitch: weekend #213895739 →
bytch:
thank you lord of boring small towns in iowa for leading me to the ever fun city of ames for another fabulous weekend full of booz, boobs and friends. i must say, we are an effing riot to be around though. i said numerous times throughout the weekend “i feel bad for ppl around us, we’re probably…
Because we are literally constantly winning at life! <3
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i feel bad for friends telling me about their love...
melissa: i've been talking to him through e-mail this entire time and it's so cute. i told him to take a picture on this statue exactly like mine! and then he signed the latest e-mail with "love, your future boyfriend ;)"
me: ew. did you tell him how disgusted you were?
melissa: (silence)
me: oh, people aren't disgusted by that. so you...uhh....did you um tell him you thought that was really sweet? or something?
melissa: ...you're such a bitch.
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Speaking of obsessions, I am so terribly obsessed...
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Fact #2
I never just like something, I get obsessed with things. Songs, people, movies, places, activities. I either love them or I am completely ambivalent toward them. I love things to death, and then I find new things to love.
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K: You have no appreciation for pretty underwear.
M: What?! You never WEAR underwear.
K: Uh! Not true, I wear underwear at least 30% of the time!
Why do people say that relationships that dont...
Guy: you suck at words with friends.
C: omg, im sorry I just got out of a coma two weeks ago and my occupational therapist said to play those to help me relearn language.
Guy: ......oh, sorryy. Good luck with your therapy.
“All I want to do is get your panties off, get my panties off, and have a little...”
– Scott Dysick
Kal: what's your favorite snack? Hmm...raisinettes and liquor.
Kare: hahaha awesome.
“One time I was super baked, and I woke up and I had google imaged...”
– Kallie
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Rawr I am sitting in my bed and I want to go make...
Is that sarcastic or not?
People who are always sarcastic are hard to read via text.
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3 Things Gay People Are Going To Hate About... →
I particularly enjoyed this article. Favorite quote, “Do you realize straight dudes have to fuck their secretaries on their desk while their boss is just outside the door and their wife is on hold just to approach one tenth of that level of hot forbidden lust?”
“I mean, I stare at your tits all the time. Why would I expect Mike not to?”
– Angela, my wonderful roommate, about her boyfriend who also lives with us and my habit of being in various states of undress in our apartment all the time.
I need to leave this behind, for my own health.
It’s just so hard to say no! Rawr.
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