May 2011
Why is it only Tuesday? I thought today was...
May 31st
1 tag
Soooo tiredddd.
Wrote up a whole rant, decided not to post it. I need you Jessss. 
May 31st
2 tags
Lost my phone in the park.
Sad Day. I think M was more upset than I was though, he was searching like, in a grid pattern.
May 30th
1 tag
Thanks to all the troops
For propogating our social and cultural imperialism and forced assimilation techniques. Go you.
May 30th
3 tags
Mastermind - Deltron 3030
IK it’s old but I am recently obsessed with this songgg.
May 30th
3 tags
Jess and I keep talking about things that we want...
1.) Chicago. Natural History Museum, Science Museum, Giordanos, and hopefully some hot, rich lawyers. 2.) Skydiving. 3.) Beach, a lot 4.) Find a place to live, aquire pretty things and furniture for said place. 5.) Long walks and picking pretty flowers 6.) Be cultured, attend poetry slams and shit 7.) Music! Attend shows and concerts 8.) Try to curb our raging alcoholism? 9.) Meh, on...
May 30th
4 tags
My 48 hour marathon of being with my besties is...
But we had a fun and debauchery filled time, obviously, so it’s okay, I suppose.
May 30th
3 notes
3 tags
May 30th
1 tag
May 30th
3 notes
3 tags
May 30th
77 notes
1 tag
May 30th
8 notes
4 tags
It's supposed to be soo hot today, and I have to...
Jess and I were gonna go to the beach, but I have to work 9-5 and she has to work 4-12. LAME. Also, I’m not sure what exactly I’m going to do without her for a full day….ahh cue panic attack.
May 30th
3 tags
Just from some empirical observation... Amount of...
I will say, even though I talked a lot of shit earlier today and considering said water/boobs incident (I was very annoyed at the time, but in retrospect, it seems kind of funny), he is really probably the best unrelationshiped sex I’ve ever had.  And yes, I’m pretty bruised, and I think I dislocated both my hips, and I’m pretty okay with both.
May 30th
3 tags
May 30th
4 notes
3 tags
May 30th
16 notes
1 tag
whiteboyproblems
M: Umm....do you know how to give a girl an orgasm?
C: Umm, duh
M: Then why aren't you doing it?
C: .....
May 29th
4 notes
2 tags
Morning After
K: Did you sleep with him?
M: Yes.
K: Like, had sex with him?
M: No, but he played with my lady parts.
May 29th
4 tags
Whitegirl problems: trying to figure out your... →
somthingmoreclever: Have you ever gone out with a group of friends only to be detoured by a man from Iraq who tries to convince you that it would be a good idea to pretend to be siblings and then make out to freak people out and after said detour you lose all of your friends and end up back at your place then wake up in the morning unclothed in bed with your ex-boyfriend and find...
May 29th
1 note
2 tags
Thank fucking god that's over.
Cue the never speaking again.
May 29th
No seriously, freezing my ass off now...your...
May 29th
Wtfff. You might think its cute when im wet, guy,...
Not. Fucking. Cool.
May 29th
“I would bury a body with you. I am like, a really good digger.”
– Jess <3
May 29th
May 28th
1 tag
May 28th
3 tags
Batman is following me now...Soooo...It's been...
Marry me?
May 28th
Apparently injured my foot dancing my ASS off last...
Worth it.
May 28th
3 tags
“Some people feel the rain, others just get wet.”
– Bob Marley
May 28th
26 notes
2 tags
May 28th
3 tags
May 28th
19 notes
5 tags
May 28th
16 notes
4 tags
May 28th
21 notes
1 tag
I think I like my hook up buddy person a little...
Built in expiration dates FTW.
May 28th
1 note
4 tags
May 28th
2 tags
Oh my god, my social incorrectness has reached...
Jess and I were joking about how dead moms always win reality shows….I say “oh haha no one here has a dead mom do they?”……..one guy raises is hand. I am a fucking monster seriously.
May 28th
3 tags
May 28th
2 notes
4 tags
May 27th
23,598 notes
May 27th
831 notes
May 27th
2,545 notes
May 27th
4 tags
May 27th
22 notes
2 tags
May 27th
1 tag
May 27th
3 tags
When a particularly strong stream of water hits...
GAHH instant laser mastectomy!
May 27th
3 tags
May 26th
1,469 notes
3 tags
May 26th
2,553 notes
4 tags
WatchWatch
Why Everyone Wants To Have Sex With Vampires
May 26th
6 tags
May 26th
2 tags
May 26th
21 notes
Thanks to my utter lack of stability and putting a...
Literally vibrating here. Not the good kind either, the holy shit I feel like a hyperactive golden retriever on crack in a park that is particularly populated with squirrels kind.
May 26th
3 tags
Also, just because I am in a ranting mood....there...
Solutions: Bleach and…. Fuck I shouldn’t be drinking this overly sugary coffee because then I could just sleep…. Wow I am seriously grumpy :( boo. Also I have to work.  Good news though, my friend is coming into town so I will finally be able to have a fully girls night. I am firmly eschewing men for the next…48 hours or so.
May 26th